The other day, I was asked a great question on Twitter by Gary Thill, the editor of Aquatics International Magazine (Check him out on Twitter at http://www.twitter.com/aquaticsintl). Mr. Thill had asked what the twitterverse thought was important in managing Gen Y, and I told him that building genuine relationships with employees is what I would point to as priority number one. Then he asked me:

“Since Gen Yers communicate so much through texting, and social media, how do you build relationships?”

That there is an insightful question. And one that is very difficult to answer in a mere 140 characters, so I figured I’d give it its due with a blog post. In fact, it’s going to be a two-part answer, with today’s post focusing on what I want from that relationship and my next couple posts focusing on the ways that new technology can change that game.

My generation is redefining the concept of “relationships” as we go through our daily digital lives. We don’t need face-time to feel like we’ve got a relationship with someone. Part of the cause of this change is technological. Courtesy of tools like Facebook or Twitter, I can know what people in faraway places are doing at any given second, see pictures or videos of their most embarrassing moments, and converse with them in real time. All of this without ever going to Singapore, Sydney, Madison, or wherever. I can learn more about someone with 10 minutes looking at his Facebook profile than I might be able to in a 10 minute conversation with him.

Consequently, I don’t feel the need to physically meet people in order to get to know them. Certainly there are people I am interested in seeing on a more than digital basis, and I derive considerably more satisfaction from those interactions than I do from my Facebook friends.

I’m also very comfortable categorizing my relationships and treating them differently. Some are for work, some for school, some for day-to-day friendship. Each requires a different level of engagement on my part, and I expect a different level of engagement from each.

When it comes to the work relationships, then, what am I looking for? Certainly it’s a little different with each boss, each job, and each co-worker, but there are a few things I always look to get out of a work relationship, whether I get them digitally or in person.

First, I want to be respected for the work I do. And, no, I don’t consider my paycheck “respect” for what I do. It is what you give me in exchange for doing my job. A part of our relationship as an employer and employee, I need you to include (a) some sort of congratulations for doing well and (b) include a picture of the difference I make for your business. I’ve never enjoyed working for a boss who didn’t let me know that my successes were appreciated, and who didn’t help me understand how those successes fit into the bigger picture.

Second, I want to be valued for who I am. I understand that as a front-line worker for a billion dollar corporation, I am small cog in a very big machine. But as my day-to-day manager, I don’t want you to treat me like a replaceable part to a machine. I’m a person, and I’d like to be treated accordingly. Take an interest in my welfare, ask about my hobbies or my family, discuss one of our common interests with me.

Third, I need you to lead me. Yes, I want to know when I’m doing well. But at work I need someone who knows the way and who will put me back on the correct path if I stray from it. Bosses who are so interested in being my friend that they allow me to make mistakes can create one of two situations: (a) I consistently mess up, and feel good about the work I do until some sort of crushing reality check comes when I get a new boss or talk to an honest co-worker; or (b) Boss eventually gets so fed up with my incompetence, and explodes at me for having problems the boss should have been fixing in the first place. Both of these have the same end result: our relationship ends badly.

If you can bring those three elements to a workplace relationship with me, we’ll get along quite nicely.

I’d like to conclude by re-posing the question that I’ll be addressing in my next few posts: How can a boss bring this kind of management to the table in an age when texting and social media seem to be the norm for communicating?