One night at a retail store, I was working with a guy who had just graduated high school. He was working on the dock, delivering items to customers. Unfortunately, the sales staff had sold a single item to two customers. Now, it fell to this young employee to tell the second customer that he would not be receiving the item.

He had asked me to hang around because he was afraid the guy might take a swing at him. Seriously. When he approached the customer, I was afraid he just might. The problem was that the employee was so nervous that he was grinning, looking at the floor, and almost giggling. I realized that to someone who didn’t know him, it looked an awful lot like he was amused by the situation. Quite to the contrary, though, he was downright terrified by the upcoming interaction.

To his credit, the customer expressed his dissatisfaction as politely as one could be expected to in such a situation, then asked for a manager. Problem solved. But watching this did get me thinking about the ways in which young employees expect to receive negative feedback. I know it’s an unpleasant situation on both ends, and while it tends to be sticky regardless of the age of the employee, I think there are a few things managers should keep in mind when dispensing this kind of feedback.

1. It’s not the end of the world.

No, this is not a demand from my generation to yours to care less about workplace screw-ups. This is me asking you to show your young employees that mistakes can be fixed, and that front-line workers should put their energy into solving problems instead of worrying about your reactions to them. In other words, put the mistake into perspective for your employee. This may be someone who’s working his first job and hasn’t had many opportunities to learn that everyone screws up. It can be quite reassuring to have a manager tell you that life goes on.

2. What’s done is done. Don’t rub it in.

One night, I hit up a drive through to pick up some chicken nuggets. I did this going much too fast, skidded on ice, and impaled my station wagon on a concrete post. The next morning, when I called my dad to tell him this, his reaction was, “I’ve told you you drive too fast.” Thanks. The gaping hole in my rear quarter-panel told me that, too. Don’t do this to employees who have come to you with a mistake. If they know it’s a mistake, there’s no reason to remind them of it.

3. Help me fix it.

This is the single most important part of the entire process. If I come to you with a mistake, odds are good I’m looking to get it fixed. Helpful suggestions toward this end are much more useful to me than anything else you could provide. In fact, if you do not provide steps to solve the problem, it’s much less likely that I will solve that problem, and it’s even more unlikely that I’ll come to you with problems in the future. I want to know what I need to do to make it right. Stick to concrete, easy-to-follow instructions, and before you know it, I’ll be back on track.

4. Show me how to prevent it.

After it’s all said and done, it might be worth it to sit down for a few seconds, look at the mistake, and see if there is some little bit of training that can be done to prevent this mistake in the future. Again, if you’re able to focus on concrete steps to follow instead of your disappointment, your employee is going to learn that when a mistake happens, action should be taken.

Remember: Young employees, especially those who are new to the workplace, will follow your lead if you establish a norm. Make your norm actions and solutions, not bluster and blame.