Issue #46

In this issue:

Word to the Whys

"A person who is trained to consider his actions, to undertake them deliberately, is in so far forth disciplined. Add to this ability a power to endure in an intelligently chosen course in the face of distraction, confusion, and difficulty, and you have the essence of discipline."
John Dewey

"The surest test of discipline is its absence."
Clara Barton

"Discipline is not a nasty word."
Pat Riley, famed NBA coach and player

"The Simpsons went against the rules and it was huge."
Mike Judge, Creator of Beavis and Butthead

Nordstrom's Rules for Employees: Rule # 1: Use your good judgment in all situations. (There are no additional rules.)

"There are no exceptions to the rule that everybody likes to be an exception to the rule."
Charles Osgood

"Without feelings of respect, what is there to distinguish men from beasts?"
Confucius

"I played by the rules of politics as I understood them."
Richard Nixon

"I hope an animal never bores a hole in my head and lays its eggs there because I might think I have a good idea when it's really just the eggs hatching."
Jack Handey—Author of Deep Thoughts

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Links of Note...

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Getting Them to Give a Damn: How to Get Your Front Line to Care About Your Bottom Line
the new book by Eric Chester reveals the management techniques that leading-edge employers are using to get these quirky, book-smart, and streetwise employees—Eric calls them 'kidployees'—to contribute in innovative and entrepreneurial ways.

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Training Responsible Tigers

There is a parable told of a family on an excursion that comes across a tiny abandoned tiger cub and decides to bring him home and make him their pet. The father, an ironworker by trade, welds a large cage in the back yard and the family agrees to keep the tiger in the container at all times and go outside when they want to play with him. But the cub is so adorable and harmless, the kids cannot resist the temptation to sneak him into the house and play with him a little each day. Mom and Dad see these kids having so much fun with the little guy, they decide to look the other way. As the cub grows, the family begins to struggle with getting the little fellow back into his cage at the end of every day. The animal learns that by snarling and letting out an occasional loud roar, he can intimidate his owners and have his way. Soon, the family no longer has an adorable cuddly little cub in their back yard, but rather a 2,000 pound Bengal tiger roaming in their house devouring all food in sight, and making his bed on the living room couch. Despite their good intentions, the family ultimately loses their ability to get the tiger back into his cage.

"I was only trying to be a cool mom," explained 41-year-old Arvada, Colorado resident Silvia Johnson after police arrested her for hosting multiple parties for her teenage children and their friends where she supplied alcohol, drugs, and even sex. Tragically, this is only one of a growing number of similar stories we hear and read about everyday involving adults who want to be perceived as cool or hip with Gen Whys.

Although the Arvada story is extreme and revolting, it brings to light the far-reaching extent of what can go wrong when adults try to be "buddies" with those they are entrusted to parent, teach, or coach. If a cub sees its master as its equal, it becomes nearly impossible to get the tiger back into its cage.

Contrary to widely held beliefs, Generation Why does not always reject authority out-of-hand, and will often embrace structure. Perhaps it stems from the lack of absolutes they've had growing up in today's 'anything goes' world. But when they realize there are consequences for straying outside the boundaries and those consequences will not be negotiated, then they will quickly learn that it is a waste of time fighting a losing battle and soon move on. Contrary to common perceptions, when faced with clear rules and consistent boundaries, their tendency is to adhere to those guidelines and to respect the leader who holds their feet to the fire.

While it is always a good idea to be friendly with your Whys, as you are to your fellow educators, you do not have to be their friend. Just as there are important boundaries that need to remain intact in a parent/child relationship, there are also clear lines that should never be crossed in an educator/student relationship. To help them become all they are capable of becoming requires a leader they respect, not a buddy they think is cool—and there is a big difference between the two.

Understand that Gen Whys are experts in the rapid discovery of patterns. They can quickly spot any gray area in your rulebook and they have no aversion to testing the boundaries. If they think of their leader as a peer, or think that he or she has a tendency to look the other way if the process of enforcing a rule is too much of a hassle, they'll waste no time in exploiting that tendency. When they discover there is a lot of give-and-take, they'll embark on a strategy to give less and take more. Then, when asked to do something they don't really want to do, they'll begin to growl and show their teeth—if they think it will help them get their way.

Whys Idea for Educators
First, don't rule-out hard and fast rules. Instead, identify those boundaries that are truly important and draw a firm line in the sand eliminating any room for personal interpretation.

Second, keep your distance. Better to be seen as an out-of-step old fogey with firm, fair rules than a cool guy who's just one of the gang. Fiercely protect yourself against any possibility of being perceived as an equal.

Every cub will ultimately grow to be a tiger. The only question is 'what kind of tiger will he or she become?' Although it is far easier (and much more fun) to be their hip buddy and lighten up on the standards, in the bigger picture, it is well worth the pain and struggle to train responsible tigers. Left free to roam, they may become dangerous and destructive adversaries.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

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Whys Cracks

KARATE KIDDIES: Ten-year-old twin girls in Vienna, Va., were awakened after midnight by an intruder. It was a masked man who broke into their family home and went straight to their bedroom, police say. He grabbed one of the girls and tried to gag her, which woke up her sister. The two girls, who have been taking martial arts lessons for self defense, "responded the way they were instructed to," said a police spokesman: they beat on him. The ruckus awoke their parents, and their father quickly arrived and beat the man with a table lamp, but he escaped. Their mother recognized the man's voice: it was the girls' Tae Kwan Do instructor, she said. Police went to the home of instructor Andrew M. Jacobs, 42, and arrested him after he admitted he was the burglar. Police noted he had bruises on his face. (Washington Post)
Those that can, do. Those that can't, get the crap kicked out of them by those they taught.

NOT QUITE A NOBEL PRIZE, BUT… Canadian Andrew Bergel beat out 500 contestants from as far away as Australia to win the World Rock Paper Scissors Championship, which was held in Toronto. "It's going to change his life," said Tournament director Graham Walker. "He is going to be a serious C-level celebrity." (Canadian Press)
…Doesn't say a whole lot for his life before accomplishing this feat. Says even less about spectators who bought tickets to watch.

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