Issue #55

In this issue:

Word to the Whys

It’s not a big deal. I’ll just move on to the next level, baby.
Marcus Vick, former quarterback, Virginia Tech, right after the team discharged him for character issues

It’s been an awesome two weeks. I got to party and socialize at an Olympic level.
Bode Miller, U.S. skier, on his medal-free Olympics

I was ahead. I wanted to share my enthusiasm with the crowd. I messed up. Oh, well, it happens.
Lindsey Jacobellis, Silver Medalist in the Snowboard Cross who threw away a gold medal by being more focused on fun than on the finish line

Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
Leo Tolstoy

We are the people our parents warned us about.
Jimmy Buffet

Love is not something you can wrap chains on and throw into the lake. That’s called Houdini. Love is liking someone a lot.
Jack Handey—Author of Deep Thoughts

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Debacle on Ice

Although it's been a few weeks since the closing ceremonies, I am still scratching my head over the Winter Olympics. Like most Americans, I've always looked to our Olympic athletes for an inspiring demonstration of self-sacrifice, dedication, teamwork, sportsmanship, and patriotism. But this year, all too often, we witnessed a radical departure from these values. It was a far stretch from a miracle on ice.

A lot of us have been wondering "why?"

Why did skier Bode Miller devote more of his talent and energy to late-night partying than to compete like an Olympian?

Why did speedskaters Chad Hedrick and Shani Davis tarnish their gold medal performances, their sport, and the rest of the US Olympic team by continually criticizing and berating each other in front of millions of television viewers worldwide?

Why did American figure skater Johnny Weir parade around the Olympic village in a jacket embroidered with the old Soviet Union logo?

Why did ski aerialist Jaret Peterson punch an acquaintance and get himself disqualified from the competition he trained his whole life for?

After the U.S. Hockey team was eliminated, why did NHL All Star Mike Modano skip the final team meeting and then publicly blast USA Hockey for forcing him to make his own travel arrangements?

And why in the world would snowboarder Lindsay Jacobellis, who clearly had the gold medal all but won, attempt an idiotic showoff maneuver, only to stumble and allow a distantly-trailing Swiss competitor to overtake her for the gold?

True, it's not the first time Olympic athletes have embarrassed themselves and their country. But it's difficult to remember a time when so many of them were doing it all at the same time. For every feel-good story to come out of the Olympics, it seemed as if there were at least four or five other stories that made us cringe and wonder "why?"

What do these athletes see as the payoff for this type of behavior? It's not too much of a stretch to say that the pop-culture pendulum seems to have swung in favor of rewarding the outrageous. Just as the new breed of professional football players seems to celebrate every minor run, catch, or tackle as if they've just been voted Superbowl MVP, scores of young wanna-be's punctuate every minor accomplishment with a self-aggrandizing pre-rehearsed "me dance." And instead of castigating them, we celebrate them and put them in the spotlight.

The pathetic display at the recent Winter Olympics was more than a bad showing and had little to do with the final medal tally. It's a sad commentary on where we are as a society when our nation's finest athletes—those whom we drape in red, white, and blue and label as heroes—disgrace our proud heritage with selfish and thoughtless acts. Personally, I've had to step back, gather my wits, and try to get a larger perspective on this situation.

A dozen years ago when I was a single father of two, I'd occasionally get very angry and hurt when my nine-year-old son, Zac, would lie to me. Privately, I'd lament my disappointment to my older and wiser friend Ty, expecting a sympathetic ear and a few tips on child discipline. But rather than sharing in my frustration, Ty would often reply, "Why does Zac feel the need to lie to you?"

This was certainly not the response I was looking for, and it did little to ease my anguish. After all, Zac was the one lying, and he was clearly in the wrong. And yet Ty was seemingly putting me on the hot seat by suggesting that I might be partially responsible. It took me years to understand the truth behind Ty's logic.

As Walt Kelly's great comic strip character Pogo lamented, "We have met the enemy, and he is us."

Instead of asking why these young athletes behaved poorly, perhaps we need to ask ourselves, "Why did they feel the need to behave this way?"

Framing the discussion in this context shifts at least part of the responsibility (or blame) from our youth to all of us. At the same time, it can help us feel that we actually have the ability to help dictate those standards that we consider acceptable, both in our own backyard and throughout our culture.

It can be argued that we have forsaken the core values that built our nation and that we have raised our children with a different set of standards than those by which we were raised. We have been telling our children, in effect, that life is all about doing whatever will make them happy. We have excused and explained-away the disgraceful and sometimes even criminal behavior of so many of those who entertain us, and we have often rewarded these pop icons with laughter, applause, and fat endorsement contracts. We've taught our kids that there is no "T-E-A-M" in the word "I" and that personal stats overshadow team goals. This idea of exalting the self has so permeated our culture that it should come as no surprise that such a "value" is echoed in a growing number of our young Olympic athletes.

If all this talk seems unsettling, look at the bright side. If we are, at least to some degree, responsible for the audacious behavior of our youth, then it stands to reason that we are also, at least to some degree, capable of transforming that behavior. Put simply, we have the power to change things.

1. We have the economic power. We don't have to support teams or sports that hold athletes to low (or virtually non-existent) standards. We don't have to watch programs or movies or listen to music that features sleazy celebrities. And we don't have to buy products endorsed by characters with no character. Remember, we vote with our dollars.

2. We have the authoritative power. We can establish rules and boundaries for acceptable behavior in our homes, schools, and workplaces, and we can enforce them. We are their leaders, not their buddies.

3. We have the mentoring power. We can consciously choose to demonstrate outstanding character in the way we conduct ourselves and lead by positive example in everything we think, do, and say. (And even if we don't feel the economic and authoritative power of numbers one and two above, this mentoring power is undebatable.)

We don't have to sit back idly, shake our heads, and wonder why youth behave the way they do. We can find answers to our questions with one glance in the mirror. Let's use our collective power to right the ship and set it back on course.

To Sum It Up

Build a Bridge - by William Allen Dromgoole

An old man going a lone highway
Came at the evening, cold and grey,
To a chasm, vast and deep and wide,
Through which was flowing a swollen tide.
The old man crossed in the twilight dim.
That swollen stream held no fears for him.
But he paused when safe on the other side
And built a bridge to span the tide.
"Old Man," said a fellow pilgrim near,
"You`re wasting strength with building here.
"Your journey ends with the ending day.
"You never again must pass this way.
"You`ve crossed this chasm deep and wide.
"Why build this bridge at the even` tide?"
The builder lifted his old grey head.
"Good friend, in the path I have come," he said,
"There followeth after me today
"A youth whose feet must pass this way.
"This swollen stream that was naught for me,
"To that fair-haired youth may a pitfall be.
"He too must cross in the twilight dim.
"Good friend, I am building the bridge for him!"

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