My wife and I spent last weekend in L.A. visiting my 23-year-old daughter, Whitney, and her husband of 18 months, Chris. Whitney, a 2008 finance grad of Seattle Pacific University, is working as an associate for a large wealth management firm and is supporting Chris who is in his first year of law school at Pepperdine.
On Sunday morning before we left, I asked Whitney to allow me to interview her on camera. I am presenting for the C-Level members of the Texas Wealth Management & Trust Association next week, and felt her thoughts and comments might give the audience members some insight into their emerging workforce.
It was hard for Whitney to make it through the interview without tears. Her career means so much to her, and she wants desperately to please her managers. But they are working her to death; often 10 hour days with little or no breaks. And with the nasty LA traffic, Whitney gets to see her husband for only a few minutes each day.
Whitney accepted this position because her manager promised her during the recruitment that the firm “encourages work-life balance” and “promotes family values”. Her first week of training in New York was in mid-September when AIG went down, the DOW tanked 700 points, and investment managers started jumping out of skyscrapers. (Welcome to the world of high-finance, Whit!)
Since fall, wealth management firms like the one Whitney works for are seeing clients pull-out in record numbers. Budgets have been slashed, layoffs are rampant, and everyone is expected to work ’round the clock. Whitney says she’d accept a big pay cut if they’d allow her to go home at 6pm (she arrives at 7:30am) but feels that she can’t say anything about her hours to her boss, or she’ll be fired.
I coach her almost daily, telling her that this pain is only temporary, that in 18 months things will turn around, and that in this market, she’s lucky to have a job. But she’s totally burnt out, feels like she’s putting enormous strains on her young marriage, and is considering leaving this job — and maybe the industry — for good.
What words of advice do you have for Whitney?
What words of advice do you have for Whitney’s employers?
17 Responses
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Mark Sanborn Says:
The answer is easy to give but hard to do: when there is a significant mismatch between corporate values and personal values, it is time to leave.
I don’t think this is a question of ethics: nobody makes anybody work long hours unless they agree to do so. But if one values health, happiness, sanity and other things over inordinate working hours, then one chooses to forgo both the cost and the long-term benefit.
We often hear the term “paying the price.” Like the marketplace, life has different prices for different outcomes. There are times when we–or in this case Whitney–makes the tough choice about whether or not the price being asked of her is too high.
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Matt Smith Says:
It seems like a case of the “doing more with less” trend that we see permeating the business landscape today, mostly blamed on our current economic crisis.
Values really are a two way street, an employee has the choice to accept what the company is offering, requesting, demanding or not. Of course, there are always consequences for choosing to not accept the culture/values being created.
The other side of the street is the company and what values take priority in a hard time. Is the belief in family first or work life balance going to trump the value of making a profit?
It would be very interesting to see the difference in companies that hold true to their culture and values of putting people’s lives first vs. those that focus on the dollar and what they can squeeze out of their people in lean times and see which company ends up on top in the long haul.
Anyone can promote great culture when things are going well, it’s the companies that can figure out how to keep a hold of those values in the tough times that end up winning!
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Zac Says:
The economy is down. And unemployment is high. Unfortunately, I think many employers respond to these tough times with a “well, you’re lucky to still have a job” mentality and act with ‘rape-and-pillage’ tacticts.
This is outdated thinking. A lot has happened since this mentality was last relevant (the great depression of the 20′s and 30′s). And employers need to evolve their thinking, or they’ll soon find themselves out of business. More simply, just because you CAN get more work from your workforce without paying for it doesn’t mean you SHOULD. It is never the right time to abandon company values.
Whitney: the job will eventually get better as the economy recovers. And if you’re the solid employee you seem to be, your firm would be foolish not to bring you back when the fit is more appropriate with your life. The doom-and-gloom talk and naysaying we hear so much today comes from older people who are more severely hurt by what’s happening in the economy these days. There are still ‘help wanted’ signs around–many just below the pride and sight line that said older people have. Your decision, as I see it: how much of your life and happiness (especially in the early years of marriage) are you willing to give for finance/status/career? From what it sounds like, you’ve already made your mind up, and in a way I certainly agree with.
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Becky Says:
Whitney, girl, you and I need to get used to this life. I’m a newlywed too. Also a consultant and I work 10+ hours a day (and I am very, very thankful for my job, but it’s tough).
I suppose the good thing about my employer is that there was no bait and switch. I did my homework and I knew what I was getting in to… Still, as a Gen Yer, it’s tough to pick the achievement route that may suck out a little of your soul. But hey, what’s a modern girl to do?
Keep an eye out for yourself and try to focus on the good. My husband’s job is more demanding than mine – which means he’s more beat than me and I’m the flexible one for work around the house, shopping, etc. Our jobs make me doubt whether we can ever start a family. Be thankful while you can that currently Chris’s schedule is flexible (though very demanding, I’m sure). Once he’s through, you two will need to reassess your priorities (just thinking of my situation).
I think we’ll see a tipping point for Gen Y women in the workforce sometime in the next decade. What bloggers and pundits are not yet covering is the Gen Y mommie. She’s different from Gen X. She wants constant feedback, encouragement and – above all – she want to acheive excellence in parenting. How is she going to do that AND keep up the career?
We can’t have it all. As our lives change, we might just discover we don’t want it all.
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Michelle Says:
Using their innate traits of innovation, resilience, adaptability and efficiency, I would suggest that, rather than allow negativity to drive their response to workplace demands, Gen Y approach their senior staff with ideas to improve workplace productivity, energize overworked staff who have had to assimilate additional work due to downsizing and, ultimately, create better connections among all levels of staff. Approaching leadership and management with proactive, inspiring and positive proposals that aren’t costly in terms of revenue or manpower will meet with a much better reception. The time to think that a job is disposable is not when unemployment is standing at 8.1%. Most recessions last no more than two years, and the lessons learned through times of difficulty are often those that are the most necessary for our growth—professionally and personally.
As for employers, the only thing worse than losing a good employee is keeping an unhappy one. A company isn’t made of brick and mortar—it’s only as strong as its people—and those same people are not recession-proof—though they may have managed to keep their jobs (today), doubtless, their personal lives have been affected by the economy. Adding to that is a workplace atmosphere that is stressed, overworked, and tense, which only spills over into their interactions with your customer base. Make no mistake, you need to do something before the crack becomes a chasm. Something as simple as an uplifting company-wide email that gives them kudos for their extra efforts goes a long way to build staff morale. If yours is a company that requires business dress every day, offer staff a break and give them a casual dress day. Or, host a “Staff Appreciation Day,†and supply a Hero Sandwich lunch for them. None of these ideas (or one of your own) is going to break the bank, and your people (aka, your company) and your customers will be stronger for it.
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Tom Gray Says:
There is no easy answer to Whitney’s dilemma. According to the latest news reports (http://cli.gs/3EnsgE), unemployment has risen to 10.5% in LA County. Tough circumstances to be seeking new employment particularly if you’re supporting a husband in law school and trying to make ends meet in high cost of living LA. The stress from overwork may be nothing compared to the stress of being out of work with bills to pay and a job hunt to conduct in a gloomy economy.
Taking a big pay cut in order to work ‘normal hours’ is counterintuitive because you’re telling your employer that they were overpaying you to begin with. Even if they agree, it’s doubtful they’ll bring on more staff to cover the work, more likely they’d redistribute it to existing staff who, I’m sure won’t be overjoyed at more work.
It might be worthwhile exploring if some of Whitney’s workload can be handled off site. Preparing spreadsheets or research for example. Stuff that she can do at home along side Chris while he’s cracking the law books. Prepare a proposal for your employer that provides specifics of how this would work and anticipate and prepare for any objections they may have…
It’s one thing to honor your personal values it’s another thing to honor your personal need to pay rent, buy food, and gas up the car.
On the other hand if the work only drains and doesn’t energize then maybe it’s time to look for something else. But, if you’re going that route then try to find a new job while you’ve still got the old. A bit of a trick when you’re time strapped as it is.
As for the employer, I agree with Michelle, they need to recognize and, in any way possible, reward the sacrifices they’re employees are making. Otherwise you’re not employing staff, you’re holding them hostage and hostages will generally break for freedom at the first opportunity.
Hang in their Whitney. Lean on your husband, your parents, your friends, your faith and you’ll get through this and you’ll be stronger and more resilient because of it.
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Michael Benidt Says:
I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot lately – especially as we hear some of the statistics about the current recession (depression? decession?). The TV news anchor intones “we haven’t seen such difficult times since 1982.†Or, “The last time we had this kind of unemployment was the mid-70’s.â€
Now, I’m pretty old – so you can just dismiss this advice out of hand as being from someone who likes to say, “When I was young…†But, I was working for a corporation that “expected†a huge investment of time and energy during both the mid-70’s and the early 80’s. I can remember coming home totally exhausted after store openings that required super-human amounts of both time and physical energy.
I sort of remember that a lot of other people were out of work, but frankly, I was so busy creating my new career that I didn’t really think much about the overall economy.
The thing is, those “extreme†work times molded me in many ways that I value greatly today. I don’t long for those times to come back, and I doubt I would willingly work those kinds of hours again today. But back then, I was young, the work was challenging and it energized (as well as exhausted) me.
I agree with Mark Sanborn’s assessment above, but not necessarily his conclusion. I agree that if your personal goals and values dramatically conflict with your work, you should leave. But, if that work or situation brings out some of your best coping and survival skills, then you might consider sucking it up, putting your head down, and working the hours.
You may just find that far from being the worst of times, these could turn out to be the best of times.
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Rob Shore Says:
Whitney,
Here is a perspective that has not been touched on by the other comments and is delivered by a 30 year veteran of the financial services community: it won’t get better.That’s right. Whitney, you have chosen a field that, for as long as I have been in it, has a work hard, play hard mentality. Yes, there is a vague notion of work life balance – it is just calibrated differently. Frankly, 10 hour days just are not that severe (sorry).
Unfortunately you have selected an industry in distress that already has a 12 hour work day DNA.
If this is your passion, and you choose to gut it out, this industry offers rewards for your efforts that few industries can approach.
As a fellow SoCal resident I completely empathize with your plight re work, traffic, home – it’s a challenge. Come to OC to relax some weekend and I’ll buy the cocktails!
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George Hathaway Says:
Whitney,
Welcome to the real world. Recruiters will frequently sell you a bill of goods. One of the things every job candidate should do is due diligence on the company, department, and people. This is difficult for young people since they don’t have the network that more senior people do. But you should do your best.
You now need to make the best of a poor situation. 10 hours per day sounds about normal for Wall Street. I worked on the street for 20 years and I felt lucky doing 8:30-5:30 most days with a 1 hour 45 minute commute on top of that. Of course when I traveled I was expected to be working 24/7. It was normal to return from a 24 hour overseas flight and arrive at work allegedly fresh the next day.
If you can continue to learn from the job the time spent may be worthwhile. If it is really a drudge it may be better to leave when you can. Be flexible and make sure that you are not getting into a worse situation. I always thought that the best reason to leave a job was that there was something better to more to. One doesn’t always have a choice… but you do.
What can the company do? Probably not much. They need to survive and do everything they can to do so. They also need to retain their best employees. This is a difficult combination to handle and different companies with different needs do it differently. One thing for sure.. they need to be doing business with a high level of integrity. So far they haven’t shown the integrity… that needs to change.
Good luck.
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Whitney Says:
Just to set the record straight, it’s more like a 12-13 hour day without a lunch break.
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Eric Chester Says:
Looks like I didn’t get my facts straight. My daughter has reminded me that she’s not working 10 hours days, but rather 12-13 hour days without a lunch break – or any break. Not the first time she’s pointed out one of my errors. My bad, sweetheart. Thanks!
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When to Quit A Job That Is Not What You Were Told It Would Be | Connecting Career and Life Says:
[...] I have pretty strong feelings about the world of work. I make no secret about that and thankfully many of you who read this blog or have spoken to me about the mission for my website know this and are already on board with who I am. Michael Benidt knows me and was kind enough to forward me an article that perfectly personifies why I’m doing what I’m doing. Trying to change the world we work in.Yes, I’d like to do it right now. But tilting at windmills doesn’t work.  There needs to be a groundswell. Then it needs to become focused and then things will change. Articles like this and many conversations I’ve had tell me there already is a groundswell. I’m hoping this blog can help focus the conversation and begin to change corporate America. [...]
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Leanne Says:
Wow – I am so sorry your daughter is going through this. My answer to you is quite long and as your story really struck a nerve with me, I’ve answered you in an article (http://www.careerlifeconnection.com/blog/2009/03/13/gen-y-should-you-stay-or-should-you-go/)
I completely understand if you do not want to post this comment as it links to my blog. However, I didn’t really want to give you a 1,000 word answer in a comments section.
Good luck.
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Dan Thurmon Says:
There may be a certain “gift to the grind,” including the ability to finance Chris’ education, help to heal a wounded industry, positively affect a dysfunctional culture from the inside out, and build new capabilities for withstanding punishment. But you have to ask an important question: Is this sustainable? For how long? For what purpose?
I don’t see it so much as bait and switch, but rather an inability to understand, much less deliver, “work-life balance.” Every recruiter will pay that lip service, and may genuinely mean it. But few corporate leaders would be able to define the term or celebrate examples of it.
Balance begins by selecting a career that is congruent with other aspects of life – relationships, personal interests, health, and spiritual growth. Whitney is so bright and talented, and she’s tuned in to life’s possibilities (partly because of your influence, Eric) to a greater degree than many of her peers. No wonder her discontent is unbearable. She is incapable of self disillusion and unwilling to settle for an empty existence. Unless you can show up each day with a sense of purpose and enjoyment (to offset the pain), it may be time for a new game plan.
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Jamie Says:
“Whitney says she’d accept a big pay cut if they’d allow her to go home at 6pm (she arrives at 7:30am) but feels that she can’t say anything about her hours to her boss, or she’ll be fired.”
It sounds like you know what your priorities are. I think:
1. Come up with a few options that would work for both you and your boss (aka. taking a pay cut to allow you to go home at 6pm)
2. Present the ideas to your boss (you never know until you ask and if you have a few options he should see its important to you, you have put thought into it and it doesnt look like you are complaining)
3. …well it depends on what he says. IF yes then great! if no, then you have to decide what to do next. Stay or go.Family is the most important. If a company fails you still have your family. But a good family will understand a sacrifice for a season as long as you do all you can to make it up to them when you can.
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Zac Says:
I’ve been thinking more about this, and had an additional thought.
Many others have already pointed out that many, if not most or all, employers advertise a good “work-life balance.”
I know in my field of work (marketing), the ones who are jetting down the elevator shafts at 5:01 are upper management and older employees, who may not-so-easily remember that an enormous amount of work is being completed after hours by young/junior employees.
I think it is sometimes forgotten that we in the Gen-Why workforce are the ones affording them the luxury of the much-touted “work-life balance.” It’s not that they’re lying or being dishonest: it’s that they’re out of touch with what’s actually taking place in the lower ranks.
This is the no-fun thing to hear: in these types of industries, the harsh reality is hard work until you’re older and have ‘earned’ your work-life balance. And if you don’t agree with this type of heat, it might be time to leave the kitchen.
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John Exley Says:
This blog post is of significant importance to me! I am 19, a college sophomore at Clarkson University in northern New York, and I am a proud member of Gen-Why.
As I learn more and more everyday through information gathering and social networking on Twitter and other social media outlets while studying Interdisciplinary Engineering & Management and aspiring to be an entrepreneur, I have given a lot of thought to what I would like to do after graduation. Starting a family is one of my most important goals, and having a work-life balance is something that will certainly prove very difficult for a perfectionist, work-a-holic like myself.
Reading about Whitney, I personally would recommend that she communicate to her boss the struggles she’s having balancing time for her family and how she’s becoming burnt out. Perhaps I am wrong, but I think she is better off losing her job if she is that burnt out and is not passionate about what she is doing.
Changing her job is the best way to go! Stop feeling tied down and overworked and START YOUR OWN BUSINESS! I think she should become an entrepreneur – use her strengths and experience to build a company and be the boss of her own work-life balance. While it is considerably more risk, I think it could be her best route.
In regards to the company that is Whitney’s employer, I’d say not to change their values and requirements. Unless its employees complain and/or start to leave the company, they should probably be okay since I imagine a lot of workers would remain loyal in this economy, as exemplified by Whitney’s difficulties with whether or not to stay.
Maybe Whitney could request time to work from home – I’m not sure this is feasible but it might grant her more time w her family while keeping the company happy as well!
I’m interested in hearing what decision she makes! Please keep us posted.